On Hinge, the basic text where users share information about themselves is an absolute hellscape.
“All sex is stifling sex when you’re being strangled by the invisible hand of capitalism,” reads one profile I came across. The app features a surprisingly high number of men who enjoy doing naked yoga. Another man held up a photo of himself with a “world’s smallest rooster” mug and yet didn’t bother to post a photo of the adorable rooster. Things don’t get much better once you open a discussion: I recently asked a man in his forties what he liked about Spain and he replied simply: “Chicas.”
These are relatively modest examples. Unfortunately, some people are dealing with dangerous and aggressive users on dating apps, and lawmakers are taking notice. But as terrible as online dating is, government intervention isn’t the answer: The problem is with the users, not the apps.
A Invoice recently introduced in Colorado aims to make dating apps like Hinge and Bumble safer for users. The first section of BS 24-011 would require all dating services with users in Colorado to submit an annual report to the Colorado Attorney General on reports of misconduct by in-state users or out-of-state users. If this is not available, the app must flag all reports of misconduct from across the United States. These reports would all become public.
Although the bill leaves some details up to the state attorney general, it would likely mean that when people file false reports about each other on dating apps, those reports would all become public. The bill uses the term “member information,” suggesting it would require disclosure of each individual member. Scorned lovers, racists, incels, and others with hostile motivations could file false reports and harm people’s job and dating prospects in the future. And a report on a government website seems much more legitimate than an angry person on social media. These reports could even lead law enforcement to investigate innocent users.
If you file a report against an ex for getting back with them, it will be filed with the Attorney General and will become a public record. And if a racist files a false report against any person of color, it could come up when future employers are looking for those people. I also research dates before going out with them, less for safety reasons than because many of the men who asked me on dates turned out to be married. But if I didn’t know how the law required disclosure, I might be dissuaded from dating a man if I saw it pop up in his search results before I even clicked the link.
Like if you tried Tinder before using Hinge, the previous version of the bill was even worse. This would have changed Colorado law to allow a dating service user injured by another member to sue the dating service if a report had been filed with the dating service before the incident. It doesn’t matter if the two people didn’t meet on the app, and it doesn’t matter if the report of misconduct is true. The report only needs to be filed before the “incident”. This means that even if the user is suspended and connected with another user before the report was filed, if it harms that user, the app would still have been liable.
A spokesperson for Democratic Gov. Jared Polis said “the governor believes in a free and open Internet and that decisions about how people interact on social media are up to the individual, not the government.”
At a time when many elected officials seek to blame platforms for user behavior, Polis offers a different approach. “Whether you’re meeting a potential date at a bar, nightclub, cafe or online, it’s important to take safety seriously,” the spokesperson explained. “The governor appreciates the sponsors’ willingness to make changes to the bill that remove any private right of action and will allow dating sites to continue to be accessible to Coloradans.” Polis’ office hasn’t commented on any of my terrible dating stories.
Dating apps are horrible because they have horrible users – like the man who took me to a cafeteria, drank a drink he made without asking me if I wanted one, m Grilled for 15 minutes and ghosted. (I later learned that he was 14 years older than he claimed and that Hinge had banned him several times. He has tried to match me three more times since that day.)
Colorado’s bill would not help keep users safe, but would harm their future dating and employment prospects, often for no reason. This is the wrong approach.