We are all there when our children ask us difficult or sensitive questions that we don’t know how to answer. Having these conversations with our children can be difficult, especially when it comes to sensitive issues like discussing abilities, different bodies, and body diversity. As our children become more aware of the world around them, their curiosity grows. It is crucial to create a safe space where they can ask questions and seek advice. Today we’ll explore some key ideas for approaching these conversations with your children, ensuring they feel supported and well-informed.
Image selected by Steve Schlackman.
How to Talk to Kids About Body Diversity: Tips to Guide Your Conversation
Research indicates that discussing issues such as race, body diversity and gender from the age of two helps children understand what they see and improves self-awareness and self-esteem. This allows them to recognize and address things that are unfair, like discrimination and bias.
To provide expert perspectives, I reached out to Amber Coffman Crosby, a seasoned professional with over 16 years of experience in the areas of social impact, corporate social responsibility, and DEI (diversity, equity and inclusion). As a Senior Jobs Manager at Best International BuddiesAmber leads global initiatives to promote inclusiveness and end the isolation experienced by people with intellectual and developmental disabilities (IDD).
Amber is also a devoted mother of two boys and a close friend. Ahead, she shares her insights on how to answer tough questions you might face as a parent.
What is the correct language to refer to a person with a disability?
This is a question that frequently sparks debate, but it is essential to remember that it must be person-centered. In today’s climate, the recommended practice is to “ATP” (Ask The Person). However, you can opt for person-centered language if this approach is uncomfortable. For example, say “a person who lives in a wheelchair” instead of “the person in the wheelchair.” However, it is important to respect the preferences of people who choose to be identified first by their disability, as “autistic woman” rather than “autistic woman”.
How should we talk about people with special needs?
As with the previous question, terminology can vary greatly. Acceptable and commonly used terms include “neurodivergent,” “developmental or intellectual disability,” or specific terms such as “ASD (autism spectrum disorder).” Remember that using the word disability doesn’t have to be a mistake; think of it as a part of life. The more accepting and comfortable we can make things for our children, the more confident they will be to adopt, express and explore.
How do we approach these conversations with children? How does it change with age?
Children are naturally curious and these conversations can start at a young age. For example, when your 4-year-old observes differences, such as calling someone “baby,” who may actually have a disability, it is crucial to gently deepen their perception and explain to them that people have shapes, different sizes and capacities. . Keep your explanations simple and age-appropriate, and always be sure to maintain an open and safe environment for your children to express their thoughts. If you’re unsure how to respond, don’t hesitate to seek out external resources.
What do we do when children observe someone’s body or abilities in public?
Recognize your child’s curiosity and establish a safe environment for discussion. Help them discover appropriate language to articulate their observations. Remind them that we are all unique and share similarities and honor differences.
Other resources to support your conversation
When it comes to support and resources for talking to kids about body diversity, Amber recommends the following:
For some additional resources, I reached out to Nikki Johnson, founder of Kidbookishfor book recommendations to start these conversations with your kids.
Final Thoughts
Starting these discussions at home and using these resources can help create an environment where your children feel comfortable discussing their abilities, different bodies, and body diversity.
Embracing body diversity and fostering inclusion starts with open, age-appropriate conversations with our children. Equipping them with the appropriate language, understanding and resources allows us to nurture empathy, acceptance and respect for all individuals, regardless of their abilities or appearance. Remember that these discussions are ongoing and it is perfectly okay to ask for help and learn alongside your children. This is a journey for all of us and a responsibility that we, as parents, should embrace.