Now that I am six weeks from my due dateI keep asking myself the same question…
How are we going to do this?
My husband and I’m over the moon, of course, to add another adorable baby to our family. But the idea of feeding him every two hours, surviving postpartum recovery, and running around without sleep, all while Also take care of our two years It makes me nervous. Those birth days were already difficult when I had to care for one child, so how can parents make it work when caring for two or more?
My other concern? Ella spent her first two years being the center of our lives. How will she feel – and react – when she no longer gets our full attention? The thought of her being confused, sad, or feeling forgotten breaks my heart. So, for advice and reassurance, I reached out to nine mothers of multiple children. Here is their advice…
On the links with the two children:
“In those early foggy days, you might be tempted to snuggle up in a cocoon of love with your new baby and send your older child out to hang out with your partner, friend or babysitter. But during my maternity leave with my second son, I did the opposite: I left the baby at home and took my two-year-old son to the playground. Just an hour (or less!) alone was so good because not only did he get my full attention, but it helped me feel better about the end of our time, just the two of us. — Jennie Tung
“Your heart grows and you love your children exponentially. At first, I felt guilty for not having established enough connection with Anton right away. I loved my sweet newborn – but did I love him with all my heart and soul, like I loved Toby? Not yet. I knew Toby for three great years, I played with him, I laughed and I cuddled him every day, and I knew everything about him. With Anton, he was completely new. It was like asking if you’re madly in love with someone on the first date. But as he grew up, we fell in love with each other, and now both children are the great joys of my life. — Joanna Goddard
“A tip that helped me a lot in the beginning: I made a special Big Sister box with stickers, markers and paper, as well as some small new toys for her. Whenever I was busy with the baby, I asked my four-year-old daughter if she wanted to take out her Big Sister Box, so she would have something special to do alongside us. — Virginie Sole-Smith
Tips to make life more manageable:
“My friend introduced me to the concept of “Sites of Mutual Fulfillment”: places where all members of the family enjoy going and where everyone’s needs are met. For us, that means the local swimming pool, where one of us parents plays with the kids while the other goes for a few meditative laps, and then we switch! Or our local nature reserve where the kids can run free and we can take walks and get some fresh air. — Mel Wiggins
“Whenever possible, take the easy way out!” If it’s easier to have baby nap in the carrier rather than in a soundproof nursery with blackout curtains while you rush to pick up the older brother from school, do it. And if you can’t manage to dedicate as much time to stimulating baby activities as with the first, forget it – watching their older brother’s gym class (or whatever) will be very stimulating – it will be different, not best. or worse.” – Maggie Pouncey
You have this pep talk:
“Two kids is more than one kid, that’s true, but the best part about having a second baby is you have all that built-in muscle memory. I had never swaddled a baby before my first child was born, I had never used a breast pump, I had never had trouble opening a stroller while holding a baby on a concrete sidewalk. When you’re doing all of this for the first time, parenting can be physically awkward. The second time, my body knew a lot more what to do, and the whole experience was less of a shock to the system. Changing a diaper in the dark? Manipulated. “- Erin Boyle
“If you sometimes feel like you’re starting from scratch with your parenting skills, don’t shame yourself into thinking that you ‘should’ already be good at it because you’ve already done it. Because the truth is that every child is different, so it’s normal to sometimes feel like a beginner again. — Destiny Davis
Feel the joy:
“The first year after my youngest was born was crazy because it was like a balancing act having a two-year-old and a baby. But once you get out of the “baby” stage, the load becomes easier. And it’s so much fun when both kids grow up. When the younger one started talking to the older one, they were fun conversations. And seeing them have a blast is simply…beyond words. — Nicole
“Let it be funny. Everyone around you will tell you how difficult and stressful your life is, like, “You’re in the thick of it!” » and “Wow, your hands are full!” Yes, having multiple young children is really hard sometimes, but it’s also a lot of fun during the good times. Now, every time I see a mother of multiple children in the wild, I say something like, “Ahhh, what a dream, they are adorable.” » — Caroline Rooms
What would you add? This mom is all ears!
P.S. Three words to say to your children, five tips for sibling rivalryand Joanna talks about go from one child to two.
(Photo by Padillarigau Mumsonfilm/Stocksy.)