Give the NFL credit. The league obviously hired writers from disparate backgrounds to organize the season’s storylines. Sunday’s Week 18 finale will culminate with a season-ending clash of genres between the Buffalo Bills and Miami Dolphins, who couldn’t be more different. The Dolphins even have a Hard knocks the film crew follows them everywhere, documenting their exploits.
Miami is built like a team ripped straight from the brain of Stan Lee-Kevin Feige. The Dolphins are also vulnerable to the same missteps as a group of caffeine-overloaded marquee names who score points in batches and sell merchandise to casual fans. Tyreek Hill, Raheem Mostert and Jaylen Waddle move as if they were modified with special effects. General manager Chris Grier’s team-building skills should be praised as much as the vocation of Phase 1 Nick Fury or Mike McDaniel.
McDaniel’s arc from Yale graduate to offensive prodigy was taken straight from Tony Stark’s crib sheet. His banter, intelligence, and expertise in designing innovative gadget plays make him the mastermind behind their buzzing offensive machine. Tua Tagovailoa is Miami’s Hawkeye, the mild-mannered sniper equipped with a bow and quiver when the other side has cannons in their arsenal. Ultimately, he is the deadliest variable in the equation, making him easy to research.
The Dolphins lead the league in scoring, but beneath the surface they’re the equivalent of a Disney pablum sacrificing physics in the trenches, like an MCU script lacking depth and character development for profit bigger action sequences.
Against the top five teams on their schedule, they averaged 12 fewer points per game and went 1-4 in games against Philadelphia, Kansas City, Baltimore and Buffalo. All four proved they could overpower Miami with bully ball. Miami’s only win in those five games came against Dallas – but even that was a turbulent offensive affair where the Fins scored just one touchdown.
Eventually, however, the court basketball fad, with its CGI-generated explosions, green screens and sunny December weather, begins to fade. The physical teams intervened with the vigor of Martin Scorcese wins of superhero fatigue while cleaning up during the playoffs and awards season.
Miami’s fall from the top of the AFC is akin to the fall of the MCU due to hastily created special effects, superficial plots driven by wacky supers, and an on-screen paint-by-numbers IP franchise green at breakneck speeds. Most of these elements describe these Dolphins.
The best defenses in the league master all their pre-snap movement alchemy. Unlike his socially retarded peers, McDaniels is emotionally intelligent, treats his players with dignity rather than as anonymous numbers on a play sheet, and has also rebuilt Tagovailoa’s confidence. All these details make their start to the season humiliation of Sean Payton even more satisfying in hindsight.
But the NFL isn’t a desk job. Between the lines is fiery, adrenaline-filled work. Miami’s PG-rated physique and lack of upside do so as the calendar flips to January.
Who is the emotional firebrand in the locker room or among the Dolphins staff that can be counted on to pull them out of a funk and get them through a wall or through a wall? They seemed loose on Hard knocks leading to the massacre of the Ravens. Maybe too comfortable.
Worse still, their defense will continue without Bradley Chubb and his 11 sacks and six forced fumbles after his heartbreak. his ACL during the fourth quarter of an eruption.
McDaniel made good on his preseason promise to diversify his offensive portfolio by further eliminating the use of his backfield. As a full-scale production, the offense is an even more entertaining spectacle than last season, however, in these thrilling close-ups – a.k.a. short distance situations – they missed the target.
Sunday evening, the Finns will try to get back on track against the Hitchcockian Buffalo Bills. The stakes are higher this weekend for any other team – except maybe the Pats. Win and the Bills claim the AFC East and possibly earn the second seed in the conference. A loss coupled with wins by the Jags and Steelers would end their season in Week 18.
Allen is the most suspenseful character in Bills history. It’s unclear whether Allen will cut the blue wire, accidentally blow his dead man’s switch and incinerate the Bills’ season, or cut the red wire and guide Buffalo into the playoffs. A loss could also hurt Sean McDermott’s job security.
Stefon Diggs could explode on the gridiron or emotionally at all times. During their playoff elimination against Cincinnati a year ago, Diggs was visibly frustrated throughout the game and stormed out of the locker room before speaking to the media. Anyone who isn’t waiting on the edge of their seat to find out is lying. The tension will be palpable throughout the night. The league couldn’t have asked for a more gripping season finale.
