The NFL will win in the end. People may object to the product and complain Thursday Night Football and football abroad as much as they want, but with time the changes become normalized and even the most incompetent planners organize a match. Enter the Cincinnati Bengals and Baltimore Ravens on Thursday.
Two top-notch QBs, two hot teams and the AFC North are always a sure bet for a good, physical game. About that last part: It’s no secret that Baltimore, Cincy, Pittsburgh and Cleveland play each other every time they play each other. The fans know it, the teams know it, your niece Shelly knows it and she doesn’t watch football. The only entity that doesn’t know, or doesn’t care, is the NFL.
Of course, the perpetually angry Joe Burrow was groggy in a short week and further ruined his wrist. And of course, Mark Andrews’ season ended with a hip-drop tackle that the league believes can be ruled out of the game. Hell, Lamar Jackson took a trip to the medical tent just for good measure.
Sure, the Bengals’ season was probably going nowhere (and last night it wouldn’t), but imagine if Jackson’s injury was also serious? Baltimore’s new coordinator started the new offense, and they were finally healthy. There’s no reason to take unnecessary programming steps to appease a TV partner.
Football fans are drawn to NFL games like the Swifties during an Eras Tour stop. No matter which team draws the short stick, viewers will tune in once the muscle memory is ingrained. Any press is good press, and if you don’t believe that’s the NFL’s approach, then why is Roger Goodell still employed?
It’s almost as if the owners appreciate how much the media and fans hate their designated scapegoat.
“Thank goodness they’re focusing on Roger, and not us, right Mortimer?”
One of the unwritten rules of programming is that Thursday night games must be so dismal that the audience only needs to pay attention for half of it. If Amazon says anything about the ratings, they have the technology for the Al Michaels hologram, and while they’re at it, they can give AI Al a touch of enthusiasm.
All season, the league has touted its use of supercomputers to establish the schedule like anyone cares. Here’s an idea: How about asking Hal to rig it so that teams coming off bye weeks play on Thursdays? Then they would have more time at the beginning and end of the week. No? Too logical? All right, I’ll sit in the corner.
Until last night, the TNF Slate was forgettable as usual, and ratings were up from last year despite developmental performances from Tyson Bagent and Will Levis over the past two Thursdays. Who cares if the midweek football narrative is the poor quality of play? Prime Video has already sent a Hummer full of money to all 32 franchises, and the league hasn’t told them to invest a small fortune in another useless studio show.
It would take a lot to usurp Sunday Night Footballis broadcast as the most insufferable, so Tony Gonzalez and Kirk Herbstreit are superfluous. Choose one and try to cancel the other so you can terminate a contract. That’s what the Raiders did with Jon Gruden, and look how well it worked.
The NFL is more invincible than Haliburton. Missteps don’t matter, so make Carolina, Atlanta, Tennessee, Las Vegas and the rest of the organizations with disposable quarterbacks the designated TNF and NFL Europe teams. Leave it to the real stars to stick to their recovery routines, because what happened Thursday night was as predictable as it was avoidable.
