Now we come to Premier League fans’ favorite time of year and it’s fitting that it matches a child’s favorite time of year, given both’s penchant for inexplicable screaming and crying . It’s vacation time, which means kids and fans have nothing to do but sit around, never wear stiff pants, get drunk, and play with their favorite toys. In our case, it’s on the sofa watching Premier League football, which will throw every possible match at us from Thursday.
And the Holiday Ho Down Of Footy could very well be a car crash. It starts next Saturday when Liverpool and Arsenal face No.1 against No.2 at Anfield. Liverpool will also have to navigate Newcastle on New Year’s Day. Arsenal have interesting fixtures against West Ham and at Fulham. City are due to travel to the Middle East for the Club World Cup and will return to what is now no longer a free lunch at Everton. Aston Villa probably have the simplest list, with United Sheffield and Manchester, followed by Burnley. Yes, Virginia, we could enter 2024 with Aston Villa leading the league.
What happened this weekend to prepare us for the demolition derby? Let’s review it.
5. Arsenal show the pedigree they showed last year
We won’t really know if there’s anything different in Arsenal’s attitude, grit or any other type of study until spring. They looked pretty sassy this time last year too, then were spitting coolant and oil in April. Midway through the season, we know they got it.
Yet they absolutely smothered Brighton on Sunday, although Brighton admittedly didn’t quite understand the Thursday-Sunday schedule required by their Europa League participation.
But Brighton are one of the most stylish teams around, with a system designed to lure teams towards them as close to their own goal as possible before they pass through and around you. And Arsenal were definitely driven to push Brighton as high up the pitch as possible. They simply haven’t been crossed or bypassed.
Brighton didn’t have a shot in the first half. Not a single one hit the target, not a single one hit the subway station or Troopz. Arsenal were one of the few teams to fall into the trap set by Brighton and ended up becoming predator rather than prey.
Arsenal could reach this height without getting stung thanks to their central defenders, William Saliba and Gabriel, being able to push to the halfway line or beyond without worrying about the space behind them because they are so quick. Brighton wingers Simon Adringa and Kaoru Mitoma were unable to burn anyone as Arsenal’s midfield stifled anyone who could have given them the ball. This happens when a team has Declan Rice against the Tasmanian Devil all over the field.
Here’s a good representation of the whole day:
Arsenal may still be susceptible to a Saliba injury. Maybe they can’t live without Rice, even if he never gets hurt. But right now, they seem to have the most things defined out of the contenders.
We should also take note of this pass from Lewis Dunk, after showing him having one in the nards, in the interest of fairness.
4. Liverpool’s warts are getting too big
It’s actually pretty impressive that Liverpool are top of the table heading into the weekend, as it’s hard to remember the last time they played really well. They were horrible against Crystal Palace for over three quarters of the game and two attacking minutes to claw their way to three points. They really struggled to fend off Sheffield United. They had to miraculously fight their way past Fulham at home as their defense was non-existent. They should have been put to the sword by Man City but stayed long enough to allow a moment of genius from Trent Alexander-Arnold to earn them a draw. So, the 3-0 win against Brentford a month ago? Maybe?
They clearly struggled with deep and low blocks, which Manchester United said was their only option for Sunday’s game. Luton managed to get a draw, Sheffield United almost did.
The unbalanced nature of Liverpool’s attack is problematic. With the arrival of TAA in midfield, Mo Salah either isolated as a winger or leaves the entire right side abandoned. Which is why the first half saw him, along with Dominik Szoboszlai, putting on a sort of drunken puppet show trying to get close on the right. But Szoboszlai moving away left Liverpool a little short in the middle in attack, especially with Ryan Gravernback’s tendency to dribble into a dumpster. With such large teams, Darwin Nunez doesn’t yet have enough talent to operate in tight spaces. Luis Diaz hasn’t really been Luis Diaz this season, although we understand why.
Liverpool’s attack looked better when Joe Gomez was brought in to play at right-back with TAA moving into midfield full-time, giving them width on both sides, but most let Gomez be the one who was shooting. Which is certainly an abstract plan, considering Gomez never scored. Never. For everyone.
What will really scare Liverpool fans is that Arsenal are a much better defensive team than United, and they actually pose anything resembling a threat going forward. Arsenal aren’t just going to sit back, so there should be more space. But Liverpool will have to play well to take advantage. And it’s been a while.
3. Villa and Brentford have the best feud
If there are two players you would pick to have a multi-incident feud in a match, it would be Villa goalkeeper Emi Martinez and Brentford’s Neal Maupay. They are the very definition of (two materials that make up a homemade explosive that I can’t google because they were waiting to come get me). Martinez is the Premier League’s biggest weirdo, who last week had the Villa crowd buzzing with blood streaming down his face to cross the line against Arsenal. Maupay is probably best described as the Brad Marchand of football, only if Brad Marchand didn’t know how to use a hockey stick.
SO…
Hang it in the Louvre.
Regardless, Villa won away, which was rare for them, coming back from 1-0 down to win 2-1. Ollie Watkins took the winner, and football really needs more players choosing certain fans to root for:
2. The best red card ever
What made Raul Jimenez’s red card so hilarious was the story he was clearly trying to sell about it before VAR quickly and rightly told the referee: “Yo, this guy has to go.”
Jimenez’s case, as best we can tell, is that the ball was bouncing and he simply misjudged the bounce. Except the replay shows he misjudged the bounce by about two feet. Either he has vision problems, he’s the clumsiest human alive, or he just decided to pick on Sean Longstaff. You know it’s bad when VAR only needed a few seconds to decide whether to send someone off, which usually takes the duration of one or two Shakespearean acts.
1. Tackle of the season
All is well for Everton, who picked up another away win, have now erased that 10-point penalty and moved clear of the relegation zone. A 2-0 win over Burnley is still level with marking their free place on the Bingo card, but after the season Everton have had, they aren’t being picky.
And it contained perhaps Ben Godfrey’s best tackle or interception of the season, while the game was still a little uncertain:
Programming Note: I’m going on vacation, so I’ll come back after the new year to summarize the entire holiday season as best I can with very blurry eyes.
Follow Sam on Twitter @Felsgate and on Bluesky @felsgate.bsky.social
