Including a handy tip you can use if nothing else works.
With the click of a mouse, six years were lost.
All I would have needed to complete the prestigious Masters degree I had worked so hard for was three more months of thesis writing. Yet when I sat in front of the blank page, the cursor blinking, I knew that wasn’t going to happen. With one last deep breath, I clicked on the “X” in the upper right corner.
When I closed the document, I knew I had done the right thing.
It took a while to realize that this degree wouldn’t make me happy.
When I was young and fresh out of college, it seemed like the right thing to do.
If I had known then what I know now, I would have saved myself six years of unnecessary work, late night studying, and deadline headaches.
Sometimes you just know something is wrong. Everything clicks. You get excited and things fall into place.
Other times, it’s not as easy to know if it’s worth the effort. The relationship with its ups and downs. The risky business. Moving to another city, taking up a new hobby, and eating another plate of food when your belly already feels like you’re 13 months pregnant.
These efforts can be extremely rewarding. They can also cost you years of your life, as well as a ton of time, money, and energy.
Finally, my master’s program was useful.
Because I never wanted to find myself in this situation again, I developed a few questions that I always ask myself when I want to know if something is worth doing.
So far the answers haven’t betrayed me once.
What you think it will be is not what it will look like
Meeting a famous DJ was not at all what I thought it would be.
It was a warm evening on a tropical beach in Thailand. The relaxed beats of a speaker, a beautiful sunset on the horizon and sand beneath my feet. I had talked to a group of people – one of them played music for a living.
He surprised me by saying that the life of a DJ is not as glorious as you think.
Most people only see the parties, the crazy crowds, the beautiful women and the fun trips around the world.
But in reality?
Travel stress, lonely nights in the hotel preparing for your concert and lack of sleep.
This is typical of many things that seem great on the surface.
We have an idea for something – whether it’s passive income, a hot body, a smooth relationship, or endless freedom to travel the world.
But the reality is often different.
Hard work. Difficult conversations. Being jetlagged, constantly understanding local customs and haggling for SIM cards.
This is why before embarking on a new adventure, I ask myself:
“Do I want this or am I just in love with the idea?”
Understand what the day-to-day of something is like, rather than falling in love with a romanticized version of it.
Talk to people who have done it.
Check yourself with reality instead of pursuing an artificial idea.
How to eliminate all excuses
Death is a gift.
I had problems with him on several occasions. Every time this happened, it changed something important in my life. It made me realize that I won’t live forever and that if I don’t pull myself together, I will have big regrets on my deathbed.
As scary as almost falling off a 50-foot cliff while rock climbing, it helped me focus on what matters.
I browsed social media less and focused on my business. I reached out to people from my past to make peace. I told my parents that I loved them.
We all have things that we deep down want to do, but the ego finds one excuse after another not to do it.
“Now is not the right time. I need more money first. It’s too risky, too big or scary.
Imagining your death is a great indicator of what matters because it avoids bullshit.
This eliminates all the excuses and focuses you on what really matters.
So, ask yourself:
“When I’m on my deathbed, will I regret not trying it?”
Then listen to the silence. Feel what your intuition is telling you. You’ll know how much it really matters.
Act in consequence.
Why you should forget the best and worst case scenarios
You are not special.
Me neither.
Yet the ego creates many stories about why we are.
In my case, I thought I was special because I had A grades, I was super smart, I had competed in a bodybuilding competition, I had a lot of travel and life experience, I I was extremely disciplined and took many paths that others did not take.
The reality check has arrived really fast.
When I started my business, it humbled me. Instead of getting immediate results like I got in school, it took me more than three years of struggle to build the plane and put it on the runway. Now it has taken off, but it’s like an engine has major fuel line problems and the pilot is drunk.
At least I’m flying.
We often analyze ideas in terms of best And worst case scenarios. But does this make sense?
Landing in the best or worst 0.1% of relationships, businesses, parents, or bodies is extremely unlikely.
There are eight billion people on the planet. You’re not special. The most likely case is that you will land where most people land.
So instead of obsessing about the best and worst things that could happen, ask yourself:
“What is the most likely scenario? »
Whatever path you want to take, look at how it goes for the average person embarking on it.
Make peace with the fact that this is where you will most likely end up.
If what you want to do is worth it, do it.
The only “why I do this” that matters
Someone recently asked me what it was like to start a business.
My answer was simple.
You give everything for a year, two or three. You stop vibrating with people who aren’t as motivated as you. You reduce distractions, parties and other fun activities and take on stress by sitting in front of a screen. You constantly feel like you’re burning yourself out without doing enough. Then comes the crucial point.
You don’t know if all this will pay off or not.
I’ve had a lot of great ideas that I’ve poured hundreds and thousands of hours into only to have them fall flat.
All I could do was get up and try again.
The saying goes, “The man who loves to walk will walk further than the man who loves the destination.”
In everything I have seen, this is true – for one simple reason.
You have very little, if any, control over the outcome.
Markets can crash, putting you out of business. Your partner may change and leave your relationship. Your children may choose a path that shatters all the dreams and hopes you had for them.
This is why the only things that are truly worth doing in life are the ones where you fall in love with the process. Ask yourself:
“Is it about the climb or the view from the top?”
Be honest.
If you’re too focused on the outcome, find ways to fall in love with the process — or prepare to be disappointed when things don’t go as planned.
The choice is yours.
If nothing else works…
Making the right choices is not always about having the right answers, but about asking the right questions.
- Do I want this or am I just in love with this idea?
- When I’m on my deathbed, will I regret not trying it?
- What is the most likely scenario?
- Is it the climb or the view from the top?
If you’re still unsure whether something is worth doing or not, I have one last piece of advice for you.
Take a coin.
Go back.
Face – you do it. Face – it’s not.
In the brief moment after the coin lands, but before your rational mind takes over, you will know if it’s right for you.
Don’t let fate decide what you will do with your life, but use it to make the decision.
Because good things are worth choosing.
